The Bar Fellowship: An answer to my daily prayers

The Barr Fellowship is God’s answer to my daily prayers.  I was thrust into the role of President and CEO of the Louis D. Brown Peace Institute. I did not and do not have any traditional professional expertise to lead such and organization.  I co-founded the Peace Institute when my 15 year old son Louis was caught in a cross fire of a shootout on a cold December afternoon in 1993. In 1994, The Peace Institute was birthed out of pain and 23 years later I found my purpose.

My leadership approach has been one of walking by Faith and not by sight. Something needed to be done and I prayed for guidance. I knew that I did not want to focus on how Louis died; I did not want to shame and blame my community. I wanted to shift the narrative and focus on the assets of my community, teach the value of peace and to transform the way society responds to families impacted by murder, trauma, grief and loss.   

I struggled with self-confidence because I did not have the degree typically required to run a nonprofit. I would feel a sense of shame when I was asked where I went to school, where did I earn my degree. Today, I am able to attract others that are interested to learn, invest in the journey to guide and mentor me.

My long-term personal goal is to pursue and develop my spiritual calling: to serve as a Minister of God’s Peace in Love, Unity, Faith, Hope, Courage, and Justice and in Forgiveness.  My short-term professional goal is to create a strategic plan for the overall organization and a business plan for the sustainability of the Peace Institute through our Training, Technical Assistance & Consulting (TTAC) services.

My personal goals for the fellowship and the sabbatical are to find a network of peers that will nourish my soul, a network where I can process my struggles and not feel like I am dumping or adding more pressure to my amazing team, a network where I can walk in my God given strengths. I want to use this time to write my story so that it can be used to teach lessons of healing, accountability and reconciliation. I want to develop my coaching skills. I spend much of my time coaching and mentoring other survivors, and I want to rejuvenate and increase my capacity to give survivors non-traditional creative tools that will support their own healing journey. I also want to develop my ministry of coaching and mentoring couples on how to heal after the murder of a child.  Until death do us part has a whole new meaning for me.

Today, I lead a staff of 12, guided by a Board of Directors and embarking on a long term vision to make the Louis D. Brown Peace Institute sustainable so my son’s legacy can continue long after I am gone. A vision where he believed that all young people have the potential to be peacemakers regardless of which side of the streets they come from.

With all my heart I want to thank the Barr Fellowship for honoring my Personal Qualities and commitment to improve the quality of life to families impacted my murder. My Organizational Impact and proven track record of initiative, problem-solving ability, creative solutions, and success in the face of adversity. My Community Leadership as a respected thought leader and advisor focused on big-picture issues beyond my own organization.

I cherish this once in a lifetime opportunity to connect with other amazing, effective, visionary and collaborative leaders to replenish, my soul, my mind and my heart.